Newborns are so full of sweetness and cuteness, how could this be so tough? After 4 newborns, not all at one time, thankfully, I can honestly say, those years transformed me, preparing me for the phases and life struggles to come.
Nothing can truly prepare you for bringing home that newborn, until it happens. None of the money spent on classes and books fully made me READY to deal with all that comes with a newborn.
I was NOT prepared for:
1 - The Exhaustion
2 - The Demands
3 - The Self-Sacrifice
4 - The Comparisons
5 - The Realm of Nursing
Now, looking back, let me tell you how these 5 things, none of which I was ready for, changed me and better equipped me for the life struggles to come.
1 - Sleep Shmeep - I am amazed at how I can function on such little sleep. Don't get me wrong, I love sleeping. I would rather sleep than eat, but that first newborn really takes it out of you and you never really get it back. Even when she is "sleeping through the night" there are still many nights I am still up, for one reason or another. "Mo-om, I'm (itchy, cold, thirsty, hot, coughing)!" You just get used to it and keep going. Determination at its finest.
2 - My Best IS Enough - Becoming a mom makes you feel spread so thin. Newborns are demanding, in their precious ways, and with all of the other demands that come with caring for your family and home, you feel like you are never enough. The more kids you have the more you feel this way. Guess what...you will NEVER be enough. We weren't made to be all and do all. That is God's job. He IS enough. God strengthens me to do my best and be my best. So, at the end of the day, if I can put my kids to bed knowing that I loved them the best I could, THAT is enough.
3 - Just say NO - I had to learn to say NO. This is something that took me a WHILE to fully learn without the guilt. I am still learning it! This is a huge lesson in self-sacrifice for me. I had to learn to say NO to a lot of things I enjoy. I had to say NO to a lot of committees and groups that were asking me for my time and that I really wanted to do. I am not saying that you should not do ANYTHING for yourself, but for me, I was making a lot of little things a priority, when what I needed to focus on was my family. I still have "me" time and coffee time with friends, but I have to say NO to things that will consume me and start to shift my focus.
4 - STOP the Comparison Game - I learned to stop comparing myself to other mommies and their newborns. This is a continuous process. While one way of parenting may work for one mom, it may not work for me. That is okay. It doesn't mean I am a bad mom or the other mom doesn't know she is doing. I had to stop fearing that I was going to screw up my child if I didn't choose what other mamas were doing. I mess up on a daily basis, but then I re-evaluate and do something differently. We are all learning at this, so stop thinking that someone else is doing a better job than you.
5 - Breastfeeding is HARD and PAINFUL - There, I said it. While I believe at least attempting to breastfeed is important, it can be a difficult process, depending on a lot of factors. I had breastfeeding challenges with ALL 4 of my babies: chewing instead of sucking, infections, reflux, NICU stay. Each baby had their own set of challenges that made breastfeeding difficult. I nursed as long as I could. I did my best and that was what was best for my baby. Choosing to nurse, despite the pain and difficulty, strengthened me in more ways that I could have imagined. Life is full moments that have required me to press through despite the pain.
Mama with a newborn, life may seem tough right now. There are beautiful moments and you are so thankful for your blessing , but it is HARD. You are a good mama. You are doing a fantastic job loving your baby. You will survive this exhausting, demanding, overwhelming, painful time. You can do this mommy life! Be the Mom God called you to be. One day, I promise, you will look back and be able to give a bit of wisdom and comfort to another struggling, new mom.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 NKJV
Press On Mamas!
Leah
No comments:
Post a Comment