Self-imposed CRAZY

After a beautiful 75 degree day, it is cold and rainy.  That's okay, being that it IS spring and all, and as long as the precipitation is not of the frozen kind, I can handle it. 

You people in the North, getting hit with another winter snow, bless you.  Here in Virginia, after 2 snows, we are all so ready for spring, we get cranky, very cranky.  Maybe that's just me.

This weekend will be a calm before a few upcoming weeks of pure crazy.  Yes, it is self imposed crazy, but still, let me explain.

Last March, we spotted this AMAZING house.  It was a random thing.  We saw it and LOVED it immediately.  Upon adding our 6th family member in 2013, we had exceeded the capacity in our home.  We needed to breathe, physically, spiritually, emotionally.  We began weighing our options and the possibility of buying this home.  It seemed hopeless. 

Our sweet realtor, bless her heart, went back and forth with us, "Yes or no?"  Each time, it was clearly no.  Another buyer was interested, then it fell through, over and over.  We thought we lost the house, then it was available again.  We felt like it was our house.  We could just sense God doing something, but we had to wait.  We were in limbo. I don't like playing limbo.

All of a sudden, I can't really explain it, except to say, that God just lined everything up.  All of the logistics started falling into place AND we didn't have to sell our current home.  We were in the middle of a kitchen remodel (6 people, no kitchen, no fun) and all of a sudden, we moved.   

That was November.  It is time to sell the other house.  Enter, self imposed crazy.  Next week we are tackling the long list of to-dos on a house we haven't lived in for 4 months in order to get a FOR SALE sign in the front yard, as soon as possible.  I can already hear our neighbors and realtor rejoicing.

So, if you know of anyone in the market for a CUTE 3 bedroom, 1.5 bath cape cod, with a brand spankin' new kitchen, send them my way, please.  Our realtor would really love it.

Run Baby, Run

I have this goal of shedding some extra baby weight before going to the beach in July...on my BIRTHDAY, I might add.  I have been watching my calories and doing some yoga (my 4 year old calls it WOAH-GA, which makes it sound a bit more fun).  I really like yoga, or woah-ga, it is my exercise of choice.  The breathing and stretching is quite relaxing, and I have to say I look forward it.  It isn't as easy as it looks.  If you doubt, see how long you can hold a side plank...I'll wait...

 

This is exactly how I look doing it...keep believing that.

 

So, the time has come to step up my game.  Yoga is working, baby fluff is slowly melting, but I need a little bit more cardio to reach my goal.   

 

I don't like running, or jogging, for that matter.  I have tried to like it.  In school, I tolerated the shuttle run (chalk erasers anyone?),  running the mile, etc.  I did my best, but it really was never my thing.  In college, two of my closest friends were runners, and still are.  They run marathons and triathlons.  I tried running with them, but didn't really run enough to ever keep up.  I have several mommy friends who run.  Two of them just finished the Glass Slipper Challenge in Disney World,  10K and Half Marathon in 2 days.  I just don't like running, but I REALLY WISH I DID.

The thought of jogging through the neighborhood, enjoying the sunshine, breathing in the fresh air, and gaining peace of mind, sounds heavenly.  I spend so much time trying to figure out how to breathe without passing out and not trip over my own feet, heavenly is far from how I feel.
 

The other night, my running sister-in-law messaged me.  (These runners are surrounding me, its a conspiracy, I tell you.) We are going to the beach together in July.  She wants us to do this together:

http://www.raceit.com/search/event.aspx?id=30384

 

I have I mentioned I really don't like running? 

But I said yes.

 

I keep saying to myself: "It will be good for me. It will help me shed the fluff. There is a t-shirt, a medal, and breakfast when I finish."  I like the last one the best.  If I am going to work hard training for something give me something materialistic.  MOTIVATION...I like it!

 

And so, somehow I am going to start training for this thing.  One of my Glass Slipper friends gave me some pretty awesome tips.  Maybe in the end I will like running, a little bit.  Maybe I will like the free t-shirt, medal, and breakfast more.

 

Run Baby, Run   (10 points if I you are singing Sheryl Crow)

 

Leah  



New Mommies, you can DO this Mommy Life!

 

Looking back over 10.5 years of parenting (loads of experience, let me tell you), I am realizing that there are many challenging, stressful phases.  The toddler tantrum years, whiny preschool years, and the tween/preteen attitude years all have their own difficult moments.  I have to say, for me, BY FAR, the most wearisome time was the newborn phase.

Newborns are so full of sweetness and cuteness, how could this be so tough?  After 4 newborns, not all at one time, thankfully, I can honestly say, those years transformed me, preparing me for the phases and life struggles to come. 

Nothing can truly prepare you for bringing home that newborn, until it happens.  None of the money spent on classes and books fully made me READY to deal with all that comes with a newborn. 

I was NOT prepared for:

1 - The Exhaustion
2 - The Demands
3 - The Self-Sacrifice
4 - The Comparisons
5 - The Realm of Nursing

Now, looking back, let me tell you how these 5 things, none of which I was ready for, changed me and better equipped me for the life struggles to come.

1 - Sleep Shmeep - I am amazed at how I can function on such little sleep.  Don't get me wrong, I love sleeping.  I would rather sleep than eat, but that first newborn really takes it out of you and you never really get it back.  Even when she is "sleeping through the night" there are still many nights I am still up, for one reason or another.  "Mo-om, I'm (itchy, cold, thirsty, hot, coughing)!"  You just get used to it and keep going.  Determination at its finest.

2 - My Best IS Enough - Becoming a mom makes you feel spread so thin.  Newborns are demanding, in their precious ways, and with all of the other demands that come with caring for your family and home, you feel like you are never enough.  The more kids you have the more you feel this way.  Guess what...you will NEVER be enough.  We weren't made to be all and do all.  That is God's job.  He IS enough.  God strengthens me to do my best and be my best.  So, at the end of the day, if I can put my kids to bed knowing that I loved them the best I could, THAT is enough.

3 - Just say NO - I had to learn to say NO.  This is something that took me a WHILE to fully learn without the guilt.  I am still learning it!  This is a huge lesson in self-sacrifice for me.  I had to learn to say NO to a lot of things I enjoy.  I had to say NO to a lot of committees and groups that were asking me for my time and that I really wanted to do. I am not saying that you should not do ANYTHING for yourself, but for me, I was making a lot of little things a priority, when what I needed to focus on was my family. I still have "me" time and coffee time with friends, but I have to say NO to things that will consume me and start to shift my focus.

4 - STOP the Comparison Game - I learned to stop comparing myself to other mommies and their newborns.  This is a continuous process.  While one way of parenting may work for one mom, it may not work for me.  That is okay.  It doesn't mean I am a bad mom or the other mom doesn't know she is doing.  I had to stop fearing that I was going to screw up my child if I didn't choose what other mamas were doing.  I mess up on a daily basis, but then I re-evaluate and do something differently.  We are all learning at this, so stop thinking that someone else is doing a better job than you.

5 - Breastfeeding is HARD and PAINFUL - There, I said it.  While I believe at least attempting to breastfeed is important, it can be a difficult process, depending on a lot of factors.  I had breastfeeding challenges with ALL 4 of my babies: chewing instead of sucking, infections, reflux, NICU stay.  Each baby had their own set of challenges that made breastfeeding difficult.  I nursed as long as I could.  I did my best and that was what was best for my baby.  Choosing to nurse, despite the pain and difficulty, strengthened me in more ways that I could have imagined.  Life is full moments that have required me to press through despite the pain. 

Mama with a newborn, life may seem tough right now.  There are beautiful moments and you are so thankful for your blessing , but it is HARD.  You are a good mama.  You are doing a fantastic job loving your baby.  You will survive this exhausting, demanding, overwhelming, painful time.  You can do this mommy life!  Be the Mom God called you to be.  One day, I promise, you will look back and be able to give a bit of wisdom and comfort to another struggling, new mom. 

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:13 NKJV

Press On Mamas!

Leah     

Finding Refuge

There are days when my thoughts of friends and family who are struggling, weigh heavy on me.  It puts me into a mode of constant prayer.  Each time God brings someone comes to mind, I pray.  God placed them there for a reason. 

I have been on both sides.  I have been the one, constantly in need of prayer.  Life was getting turned upside down, over and over, draining me emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.    Wondering, "God, what are you doing?  Where are you taking me?  What is next for my family?"  There were times when the words wouldn't come, but I knew God still heard my heart.  The prayers of my loved ones pushed me forward when I had nothing left to give.  While turbulent times still arise from time to time, I am at a place where I feel like I can breathe from one storm to the next.

Not so for a close friend.  We have been friends for years, bonding immediately upon our first meeting.  I love her dearly.  We have walked through each others storms on countless occasions, praying for one another.  While I am riding in a bit of calm, her storm rages on.

I wish I could lift her out of her storm, so she could ride her waves.  I wish, for a week or two, I could lift her out of her current situation and she could breathe, rest, without worrying about finances, broken relationships, and ailing loved ones. 

I have been there.  I have been in the seemless never-ending cycle of pain.  When one heartache leads to the next, struggling to keep my head above rising waters to catch my next breath. 

During this time, I couldn't see a light at the end of my dark tunnel.  I couldn't see how, where, or when this all would end.  I cried out to God, asking all of these things.  "Lord, Help me through this moment, this hour, this day!  Help me breathe!" 

His reply: REFUGE

What?

REFUGE

Okay?

I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS FROM YOU RIGHT NOW, BUT I WANT TO BE YOUR REFUGE WHILE YOU ARE CALLED TO WEATHER IT.

refuge

REFUGE

So I googled, researched, underlined, and prayed over every verse of REFUGE in the Bible. Because when I HEAR GOD, I have to go ALL IN.

David had the refuge thing DOWN.  He had some serious storms to weather...mainly a crazy king who wanted him dead. 

The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.  Psalm 9:9 NIV

God’s a safe-house for the battered, a sanctuary during bad times.  Psalm 9:9 MSG

REFUGE - stronghold, safe-house, sanctuary

God became my stronghold, when everything else seemed to be slipping away.  He became my safe-house when the chaos of life became too much.  He became my sanctuary when the world seemed to rise against me. 

So, my prayer to my dear sister friend and others whose hearts are in a bout of turbulent waves, keep running to God to be your refuge.  Nothing else can keep you above the waves like only He can.   I will keep praying for you to allow God to be your stronghold as the storm rages on. 

Find REFUGE

Leah

"Hi!" From a Blogging Hiatus

I just read somewhere that you shouldn't take a hiatus from your blog for more than a few days.

Enter congestion and stomach funk for my 20 month old.

The person that wrote that lovely piece of blog advice, probably doesn't have kids.

It is really hard to focus, write, edit, and post on your blog when your 20 month old is sitting on your towel covered lap for 5 days straight because you don't know which end is going to explode.  Baby girl went through every pair of pajamas she owns in 2 days.  Good thing I am a towel hoarder because I almost ran out of those too.

This persistent cough has inhabited our home, since preschool began last fall.  At one point, while visiting my son's preschool class, I commented to the other parents, "Awwww, they all have the same cough." Seriously.  The exact same dry, drainage, cough.

We have been fighting this cough FOR MONTHS, on and off, with essential oils, allergy medicine, humidifiers, and wine (for me, of course), but the hacking just won't let up.  It keeps coming back.

Last week, it got the better of us and infected the ENTIRE FAMILY.  That's 6 people, in one house. Coughing, hacking, snotty, blech.  The older two would like you to believe that they are suffering the worst, but their amount of weekend play with neighbors would prove otherwise.  Hubby pretty much stayed curled up on the couch in a Nyquil coma.  Baby girl and the boy were hit the hardest.  Visits to the doctor with ear infections and upper respiratory infections.  Besides amoxicillin, baby girl was also awarded prednisone.

Woo hoo!  Medicine!  May our life return to normal so we can enjoy the upcoming spring-like weather. 

Enter prednisone induced vomiting and amoxicillin induced diarrhea. 

After a desperate call into the doctor, who stopped all antibiotics,  baby girl awoke with a full night's rest with no explosions happening in either direction. 

She just ate more food than she has had in 6 days.  ONE WHOLE BANANA.

Spring is in 4 days...Spring is in 4 days...

Spring on Mamas...     

After 8pm, the Mommy Wisdom is GONE

I have never been a late night person.  Growing up, at sleepovers and church lock-ins, I was the first to fall asleep and the first to wake up.  I was the party animal, let me tell you. 

After having 4 kiddos, sleep is something I rarely get enough of.  However, though my body appears to be awake after 8pm, the brain and all of its thought processes shut down. Basically, I'm brain dead.

Our day starts around 5:45am.  With 2 school age daughters, a preschool son, and a toddler daughter, our routines are a mixture of learning responsibility and having everything done for them. One is mentally exhausting, while the other is physically exhausting. 

Most evenings, all children are in bed by 7 or 8 or 8:30 or 9 or whenever my 10 year old decides to stop pushing her luck.

The other night went pretty smoothly.  The younger ones were in bed at a decent time.  Daughter #1 (D1), however,  had every ailment possible (stuffy nose, itchy scalp, endless thirst), then decided she needed to talk.  My eyes had already started to glaze over at 8pm, so by 9:30, the thought processes and Mommy Wisdom were gone. 

The conversation was pretty much the same one we have every time we talk.  She is a different bird.  Always doing her own thing and not caring what others think of her.  She had worn a cute feather in her hair to school the other day and the school kids were laughing at her.  She didn't care, but really didn't know what she did wrong to cause them to laugh. 

I tried to channel Michelle Duggar...any amount of amazing wisdom would do.  But, that night, I was bone dry.  The only response I had as to why kids were laughing was, "Honey, some kids are just going to act stupid."  Write that down people.  That is all I could say, all my brain could pour out.   

BTW, we don't say the "S" word here.  We don't name call. 

Who am I kidding?  We try to keep the kids from name calling, but it is innate.  They are born with the desire to name call.

Anyway, that piece of advice was all I had...all I could give...after 8pm.  I think I am going to use that for the next 18 years...some kids are just going to act stupid, and grow into stupid acting adults.

Totally Michelle Duggar.

Thankfully, my daughter's brain still functions at 10pm.  She started singing one of our favorite songs, "You're so unusual...I think you're beautiful" by Francesca Battistelli.

Way to go baby girl.  Maybe I should try channeling Francesca next time you want to talk after 8pm.

Leah 

   

Introducing...

This is actually my second blog.  My first was all about my family, my kiddos, my life.  While I enjoyed writing about my kiddos, life got overwhelming and I strayed...added another child to the mix...moved and well, LIFE. 

The thing about my first blog was that I had this tendency to get philosophical and deep.  It became less about my kids and more about what I wanted to share with my readers.  My readers were few because the blog was private and they were invited. So, we felt the same, thought the same, and well, it was pretty much my mom reading, so there you go. 

So, for years, I have wanted to write, share, encourage, etc.  But, I have had this MENTAL BLOCK, this WRITER'S BLOCK.  Then it occurred to me.  Its not a writer's block, its MOMMY BLOCK.

I have 4 children.  I love them each in their own unique way, but I am convinced, with each pregnancy, the brain cells leaked away, thus creating MOMMY BLOCK. 

So, here I am, writing about my life as a mom with 4.  It will not be all about crafts, cooking, and cute pictures of my children. My life is not a Pinterest page.  Far from it.

I love my husband, I love my children, but marriage is HARD and being a Mom is HARD.  I like having a clean, clutter free home, but have a hard time don't really enjoy keeping it that way. 

I have a chaotic, skeleton-filled closet.  While I will not air my dirty laundry here, I will be honest about my imperfect life and my God who loves me through it all, giving me breath to get to the next moment.

Mommy Block Averted...for now.

Leah