Thank God for Locusts

I am not as consistent as I would like to be, especially when it comes to reading my devotional and the Bible.  I am lucky to get in twice a week.  There are times when I do open the Word a bit more.  Those times are when I am going through a trial and find myself pouring over scripture, praying for some kind of providential word or encouraging sign.  

I have realized, that it is in these moments of desperation, that I so often find a scripture that fills my lungs with my next breath.  Whatever I am going through becomes attached to that verse, it becomes a part of me, there when I need a refill of air to breathe again.

One of those verses is Joel 2:25 - "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten"

Locusts are basically huge grasshoppers that can arrive in a swarm, out of nowhere, when the wind changes direction.  They can wreak havoc today, just as they did in the Old Testament.  It was the eighth plague that the Lord chose to bring upon Egypt, as Moses urged Pharaoh to release the Israelites from bondage.

I don't know if God chose a particular order when he brought the plagues on Egypt.  I thought they could perhaps be ranked by severity, but personally, a river of blood causing dead fish and stench (the first plague) and a plague of locusts seem equally awful.  Maybe they were all horrible in their own right.  Maybe the purpose was to bring Pharaoh to his knees before things could possibly get worse.  For Pharaoh, things did get worse, as his young son was taken from him in the final plague that made him give up and release his slaves.

In the book of Joel, the nation of Judah was experiencing locusts and drought.  Joel knew this was a foreshadowing of the coming of the Lord's army.  As is the common theme in the Old Testament,  Joel was warning Judah of their impeding judgement and necessary repentance, in order for their great nation to be rebuilt.

The Lord promises, "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten".

Everyone's locusts are different, as well as what the locusts have devoured.

  It wasn't long ago, when locusts were voraciously consuming all that I knew, causing destruction to me spiritually and financially, leaving their wake among my family and those I deeply loved.  It left me breathless, every day, gasping for what bursts of oxygen I could find.  But now, I can look back to that time and see God redeeming it all, piece by piece.

One of the biggest pieces is laughter.  During that time, tension was high and happiness was all but a distant memory.  It was something I wondered if I would ever experience again.  When you are on a path of darkness,  besides constantly asking "why", I found myself asking "when".  When will I have have again what was lost?  Now, several years later, the laughter has gradually returned.  It comes more frequently now,  laughter evoking tears and belly aches.  It is one of the most precious things in my life, witnessing laughter and joy return where brokenness and emptiness thrived.  The healing is indescribable.

Only God can do that, because He promised me he would.

    Joel 2:25 serves as a reminder of God fulfilling His promise to me. I could never have imagined how He will repay me.  I could have chosen a dozen of other ways the restoration would come.  He chose the one thing that was my greatest deficit and for me would bring the greatest healing. 

My life is not all sunshine and rainbows.  Many days are just plain hard.  Ushering 2 tweens into puberty, keeping up with a 4 year old with more energy and determination than I have ever possessed, and watching my toddler follow in the footsteps of her siblings with all of her might,  this mama is so very weary at the end of the day.

But those sweet, sweet times when laughter peeks its way through, whether we are playing a game or racing each other around the back yard, reminds me of how far the Lord has brought us.  I pray we will never be in such darkness again, but if we are, I know His promises will hold true, over and over.  I am thankful for those locusts.  You lose sight of the preciousness of something until it has been devoured and the only way to get back is for the Lord to bring it to you.

What have the locusts eaten in your life?  What years have they ravaged?

My friend, He will restore those years and they will be sweeter than you could ever imagine.  

School Days, School Days

For us, its the end of summer.  Yes, Labor Day is WEEKS away, but for our school system, summer was over on August 11th.  This fact has evoked the same reaction from 99.9% of the people with whom I have shared our school starting date.  (My statistical accuracy is inspired by the politicians in the current presidential race.  Don't be too impressed.)

"But that is the middle of the summer!"

I know, I know.

But guess what? This is glorious.

You see, in the winter, we are praying and begging for spring to come. SOON.  Maybe its just me praying.  I want my babies OUTSIDE.  Running and jumping and allowing their energy to be expelled out of the confines of my home.  As soon as spring hits and the sunshine is beckoning, our beloved babies LOSE THEIR MINDS.  You may not see it during the school day, but the teachers see it.  Oh, do they see it.  As soon as the weather warms up, the school year is pretty much over.  Learning is done.  Stuffing the state standards in their little heads gets more and more challenging.  School needs to end.  SOON.

For this reason, I LOVED getting out on May 22.  I was done with the folder/agenda signing (which for me ended months prior to May 22).  I was done with the lunch making.  I was done with the homework and projects.

We have enjoyed our summer immensely.  Not that we had any great adventures, but we have deliciously lapped up the sun, the beach, the ocean, and the pool. We have gotten our fill of library books (two of which are overdue - sigh), art classes, camp, and playgrounds.

And now, in mid-August, we are ready, for routines to become routine again and academia to become a part of our every day life.  This mama is ready for her darling school-age girls to be the lights I have desperately tried to mold them to become.  I am ready for four year-old my son to become a part of someone else's classroom for a few hours a day, while I try to put my house back together from a summer of disarray.  I am anticipating what I will do with those few hours with one child still at home, who is happy doing just about anything and has not started arguing negotiating with me, yet.

So hopefully, I can carve out time for more writing.  The Mommy Block seems to settle in my brain when I am overwhelmed with 4 kids for 3 months.  I will definitely find time for coffee with girlfriends and reading a good book here and there.

Welcome School Year 2015-2016, this family LOVES YOU.


Just a few pics from our summer...

Our 4, our hearts

Hubby and miniature version of hubby

The only way baby girl will smile, on command, is if you say "Teeth!"

Attempting beach pictures in 50mph winds 

The BOY

We Survived the 2014-2015 School Year...

...and all we got was...wait a minute, we didn't even GET a LOUSY T-SHIRT!

I could go on and on about this school year, but I won't.  Let's just say, we are ALL looking forward to new beginnings in the fall.

It has been an ENTIRE MONTH since I have written.  My excuse: MAY.  A wise soul once said, "May is the new September".  I disagree...now that our school year actually ends before Memorial Day, May is the new September THRU April.

For us, everything happens in the month of May: end of preschool, end of grade school, end of church activities, awards ceremonies, state testing, field trips (after state testing).  It is a month of taking everything day by day and not getting overwhelmed by looking at the filled boxes on the calendar.  Take a deep breath and just look at what is written in the tiny box for today.  (Okay, you may glance over at the tiny box at tomorrow, you may need to come up with a nifty Pinterest teacher gift.)

So now we are at the beginning of our summer.  This mama is wildly trying to come up with an activity here and there to keep things interesting.  We will be spending a majority of the summer, poolside.  Yes, I plan to let the kids play, while I pour myself into the 50 books on my Kindle that I have only read 5%.  That is my plan, but it won't happen.  I have an almost 2 year old and 4 year old that are not content at either pool we chose to sit at.  If we are at the baby pool, they want to go to the wading pool, and vice versa.  They also want to eat, every 5 minutes.  So, my books will remain at 5%, indefinitely.  The whining and crying is plentiful, let me tell you.  By the way, if you want a lesson in abstinence for your teenager, have them come to the pool and sit within 10 feet of a mama and her preschoolers.  The abundant tears and whiny begging will make them celibate for YEARS to come.  Your're welcome.

So, here's to survival.  Here's to summer.  Mamas, plan those trips to the library, to the strawberry patch, and to the pool.  Don't worry over not having enough planned for your kiddos or plans not panning out.  I bet your own summers were spent finding something to do, outside, whether you like it or not; getting sips from the water hose and coming up with your own games to play.  There is something to be said for boredom. It evokes creativity.

Teachers, thank you for surviving the school year with us.  We are all very thankful for your dedication to our tribe.  Thank you for loving what you do and being willing to withstand the pressures heaped upon you.  You are very loved.  Just think, you are one school year closer to retirement.

Happy Summer!  In the end, may we be able to say, "We Survived the Summer of 2015...where's my lousy shirt?"

Taming the Butterflies

With a tummy full of Belgium Waffles and her "protein" of choice, bacon, I sent her off to school with prayers and 8pm words of wisdom.  Today, my 8 year-old enters the world of state testing (aka SOLs).

Here is a snippet of our conversation the other night:

L: Mom, I don't feel good.

Me: What doesn't feel good?

L: I don't know.

Me: Your stomach?

L: It feels funny.

Me:  Sounds like you have butterflies about your SOL test.  Are you worried about it? 

L: Yes!  What if I get an F?  What if I don't get to go to 4th grade?  What if...what if...what if...

Me:  Sweetie, I HATE SOL tests.  In NO WAY do they determine how smart you are.  They are STUPID, but they have to be taken.  Sometimes we have to do things we just don't like or want to do.  Daddy and I expect you to do your best.  That is all.  You will go on to 4th grade.  You will not get an F.  Just work hard and do your best.  Daddy and I will be proud of you no matter what.

I HATE that my 8 year-old is stressed about a stupid test.  I HATE that she is anxious about the possibility of FAILURE.  I HATE that she is can't just go to school and love every stinkin' minute of her day.  I HATE that school has become this LONG YARD STICK of achievement.

In 4th grade, 100 years ago before state tests, my teacher (Mrs. Black) taught us to sew and make iron-on transfers from coloring pages.  As a CLASS we worked together to build and decorate a doll house for her granddaughter.  I know we learned the "3 Rs", but we learned much more.  We learned how to use our imaginations.  We learned how to create.  We learned how to work together.  Elementary School was FUN.  I couldn't wait to go each day.  I CRIED when the school year was over.   

It saddens me that for many kids, this is not the case.  Our teachers are doing an AMAZING job to do what is expected of them.  Most are going above and beyond to prepare our darlings for testing.  They spend long hours away from their homes and families, planning and preparing incredible lessons to ensure the success of our children, yet our children are still stressed and anxious. 

Today and for the next few weeks, I am in prayer for our teachers and our children.  Teachers, you are ROCK STARS.  Kids, you are ROCK STARS.  Teachers, no matter the scores of your class, your selfless attention to our children ALL YEAR LONG has made an impact that no state test can measure.  Kids, you have endured hours of instruction preparing you for this moment.  You have soaked in all you can soak in.  This, in and of itself, is a beautiful thing.  You have absorbed more information than most of your parents could hope to remember (or ever learn in the first place).

This is yet another teachable moment for our babies.  In life, there are things we have to do, that we just don't like or want to do.  We just have to hold our heads up and do our best.  Your mommies, daddies, grandmas and grandpas are there with you, in spirit, giving you a hug and a pat on the back, urging you on when you just can't take any more.  God, is with you, pushing you forward to the end, cheering you on to the finish line.

So, for the next few weeks, students and teachers, just keep going and do the best you can.  We love you, we value you, we treasure you.  Maybe, one day, our government will value the whole child and the whole teacher, not just what can be regurgitated on a test.


Love,

Leah

PS After writing the "Threadbare and Worn" post the other day, regarding Philippians 4:13, I heard a great thing for your children to use when they are feeling discouraged.  Ten words and ten fingers...one word for each finger:

I - CAN - DO - ALL - THINGS - THROUGH - CHRIST - WHO - STRENGTHENS - ME

Kiddos, do your ten fingers and ROCK OUT THAT TEST!

 

 

 

Need a GREAT book to encourage your kiddos about testing?

 

Hooray for Diffendoofer Day! by Dr Seuss - You will enjoy reading it as much as your child!

Threadbare & Worn

It was quite sad, really.  It was sheet washing day.  In other words, I couldn't remember the last time I washed our sheets, so it was time.  When pulling the sheets off our bed,  I was surprised to see how threadbare they were.  I knew they were getting thin.  We had these sheets for several years, and hadn't invested in a new set, due to other more immediate expenses.  After seeing the status of these sheets, I knew they would not last another washing without completely falling apart. 

We needed to spend a little more of our budget on some sheets that will last a little longer.  I quickly informed my husband, that a part of my day would be spent looking for better quality sheets and that we could not wait any longer. 

Not to worry, new sheets were purchased.  All is right with the world.

The more I thought about the status of our threadbare sheets, I thought about how reflective this was of my life.  I am feeling a little threadbare at the moment.  Nothing serious is going on.  I am not going through anything I would define as a tragedy or dire circumstances.

My weary, threadbare status comes from everyday life.  Juggling all of the balls that seem to be flying through the air at the speed of light, at the end of the day, I barely have anything left.  My children and husband still need more of me, yet there is nothing left to give. 

This is just a season, I know.  I have heard it many times.  Enjoy it.  Time goes by so fast.  The kids don't stay little for long.  Cherish every moment. 

I try, I really do.  I try to cherish my almost 2 year-old as she has learned to climb our very tall dining room chairs onto our very tall table.  I strive to enjoy my 4 year-old son as he has used his 50th "potty" word and it is not even lunchtime yet.  I struggle to treasure my 8 year-old as she is in tears over being called a potty word by her little brother, again.  My ten year-old, I try to cherish her too, as she throws a tantrum over her siblings disturbing her peace.

I am threadbare, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. 

Let me switch the order around: SPIRITUALLY, emotionally, and physically.

Because I am threadbare SPIRITUALLY, it affects me emotionally and physically.

I know this is true.  When my walk with God is SOLID and I am reading His Word daily, praying continuously, and meditating his truths, I am much stronger.  I am much more able to withstand the struggles of each day.

Paul knows a little about strength.  In his letter to the Philippians, we read one of the most misused verses in the Bible:

 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil 4:13 (NKJV)

I am completely at fault for misusing this verse.  I tend to call on God's strength like I call on ibuprofen for a headache.  "Lord, give me strength!"

But I don't think Paul meant it this way.  Earlier in the chapter, he writes to the church of Philippi:
rejoice in the Lord; be gentle to others; don't worry, pray; dwell on things that are noble, pure, just, and lovely.  Paul goes on to say that he doesn't have much, but has learned to be content, regardless of his circumstances, because of this he has God's strength to do all things. 

He already HAS God's strength.  Through cultivating his relationship with the Lord, he is STRONG in the Lord.  Paul rejoices and prays, he is gentle and kind, he dwells on good things, and he is content.  He continuously grew in his relationship with God, which in turn gave him the strength he needed to endure his circumstances. 

I am going to remain weary and threadbare if I don't continue growing in my relationship with God.  If I am to do ALL things that I am called to do as a wife and mother, I must already have God's strength in me to begin with.  Although I do believe God will give us strength when we call on Him, how much MORE STRENGTH could I have if my life was centered on God, as Paul's was?

So, here is the Leah version of Philippians 4:13 - "If I remain strong in the Lord, I can do all things."


Now to go rescue my toddler from the top of the dining room table...

Leah






           

Cesarean Awareness Month

Apparently, its Cesarean Awareness Month.  Controversial topic for some, but I am not writing in order to spark a debate, but share simply to share my story. 

I agree, some C-sections are unnecessary.  I agree, some doctors schedule them needlessly.  I, however, have had 4 C-sections.  This was the only way by which I could safely hold my babies.

With my first pregnancy, the plan was to have all things happen the way God intended.  I was scared out of my mind, but knew I could do this, as many women had done before me.  Then there was the 39 week sonogram revealing an (estimated) 11 pound baby, whose head was SMALLER than her belly.  My well-seasoned and highly respected doctor, admitted that she did not feel comfortable safely delivering such a large baby.  She also said, "Once we get the head out, I am concerned about getting the rest of her out."  I whole-heartedly agreed.  We scheduled the C-section for the following morning because the next available date was the following week, putting me closer to going into labor.

Being "scared out of my mind" escalated with the thought of surgery.  The only other surgery I had was getting my wisdom teeth removed.  Now I was to be completely numb from the chest down, while my 11 pound baby was to be taken out of my belly.  That night, while packing and trying not to panic, a dear friend called, who had a little experience in the area.  She had several C-sections due to complicated deliveries.  She completely put my mind at ease, reassuring me that there was nothing to be concerned about, and everything will happen very quickly.

And she was exactly right.  While this was far from my "Birth Plan", my 10lb 7oz baby girl was delivered safely.  As a result, her shoulder was lodged in my pelvis, which would have made a regular delivery very dangerous for both of us. 

I have since had three more C-section deliveries.  I wouldn't have chosen to deliver any of my babies this way, however large infants and scar tissue are a serious combination.  Too much pushing on scar tissue can cause many more problems, which I did not want to experience.

I have 4 beautiful children and a nice horizontal scar as a result.  In a way, I feel sad that I was never able to experience real labor or contractions.  I was not allowed to cuddle my babies immediately after birth (our hospital was not large enough to accommodate this).  Yes, I missed out on these birth experiences, but I have four healthy babies.  I nursed and cared for my babies while recovering from major surgery.  They made me a stronger and braver mother than I could have ever thought I could be. 

Leah

For more info on C-section Awareness, visit  http://www.ican-online.org/

 

"The International Cesarean Awareness Network, Inc. (ICAN) is a nonprofit
organization whose mission is to improve maternal-child health by preventing
unnecessary cesareans through education, providing support for cesarean
recovery, and promoting Vaginal Birth After Cesarean (VBAC)."

 

Update on Crazy

You may be wondering: Has the house sold yet?  Is it on the market yet?  Is it close to being on the market yet?  In a quick answer, NO.  Have we become a little crazy as a result? ABSOLUTELY.

Hubby did a fantastic job getting the ball rolling.  His main task was to get his garage man cave cleaned out.  College textbooks, anyone?  This included the attic.  Years of stuff, yard sale rejects, high school yearbooks, childhood mementos, and LOTS of car parts, just about wore him out.  On top of that, he discovered that he had to rebuild our deck steps, and do some serious yard work using a lawnmower that we have been doctoring for as long as we have owned it. 

There was a slight interruption to our week.  My father-in-law decided to give us all a scare and break his hip and elbow.  But being the Rockstar that he is, he was in and out of the hospital AND rehab in 6 days.  Since hubby already had the week off, he was able to go spend some time with his dad as well as torment his mom and sister.  No visit with the family is complete without a little torture from the eldest.  All in good fun.  Apparently it tends to lighten the mood.  Especially when it involves your sister's latest love interest. 

My dad swooped in on Wednesday and tried to remember what it was like being 38 again.  They worked non-stop from about 9am to 7pm for several days, then their mental and physical stamina could not handle anymore.  We are so thankful for all of the help we could get!  Dad may return in a few days, but he may not, once he remembers the physical exhaustion of it all. 

And so, Leah, what did YOU do to contribute to the house finishing process?  Well, I used up my gas, going back and forth from the new house to the old house, delivering forgotten items, discovering my extensive power tool knowledge when my husband called and ask for his "circular saw with the diamond blades", running errands to Lowes, and most importantly, delivering sustenance to my men.  All of this was before baby girl's naptime, then continued after the big girls got off of the school bus.  I was able to help with a bit of yard work.  Thankfully, the playset is still in the back yard to occupy the little ones.

There is a little bit left to do.  Praying we get it all finished before we miss the spring real estate window.  No pressure, but my nerves are just about shot.  Trying to remember God's blessings and promises.  He brought us this far, he isn't going to leave us now.  We will get through this, despite a lack of any remaining sanity.     

Helpless, not Hopeless

The struggles of life can get pretty overwhelming at times. 

Friends battling illnesses and cancer

Loved ones who are out of town dealing with a hospitalized parent

An exhausted new mom, with no spouse (and a baby herself), trying to care for her little one

A dear friend struggling to stay afloat in her marriage, in her finances, in her life

In my heart, I want to run to them.  I want to get on a plane and fly to where they are.  Use any time I have to help care for that newborn.  Give my money and resources to make a grim situation a little brighter.

 

But I can't.

 

I don't have the resources.  I don't have a surplus of  time.  I don't have room in my budget.

 

I have overwhelming matters pressing in on me too. 

 

It all just leaves me feeling HELPLESS.  If I can't physically do SOMETHING, then what kind of friend am I?  If I can't don a sparkly pink "Super Friend" cape and run to the rescue those who are hurting, I am not being a good friend.  HELPLESS.

 

Mary watched her Son get beaten, mocked, and pierced.  She felt his suffering, pain, and anguish.  I bet she wanted to put on her cape and rescue her Son from this grim situation.  She couldn't make it better.  She couldn't change the circumstances. She couldn't protect her own Son. What kind of mother was she?

 

I bet Mary felt HELPLESS, but she wasn't HOPELESS.

 

We have a tendency to put all of our hope in doctors being able to heal, spouses making it right, and finances straightening themselves out.  We can't do that.  We can't put our hope in places that are constantly shifting and changing.  We have to put our hope in the ONE THING that DOES NOT CHANGE. 

 

God.

 

God is still in control, no matter how circumstances turn out.

God is still in control, even when friends are not healed and marriages are broken.

God is still in control, when money is barely there and the food pantry is the only sustenance.   



 

Mary KNEW her Son would endure this pain.  She KNEW he would die a horrific death.

She KNEW he would rise again.

 

Her hope was in God who said he would never leave us or forget us.

 

When I am feeling HELPLESS, I pray.

 

I pray for HOPE.

 

I pray that my sick friend has HOPE in God, that He is with her during in her chemo treatments.

I pray that my friends have HOPE that God will sustain their strength for care for their ailing father.

I pray for that exhausted new mom to have HOPE for God to supply her every need.

I pray for my friend to place her hope in God who will not forget her in her struggles.

 Then Moses summoned Joshua. He said to him with all Israel watching, “Be strong. Take courage. You will enter the land with this people, this land that God promised their ancestors that he’d give them. You will make them the proud possessors of it. God is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t worry.”
  Deuteronomy 31:7-8 The Message

 



Self-imposed CRAZY

After a beautiful 75 degree day, it is cold and rainy.  That's okay, being that it IS spring and all, and as long as the precipitation is not of the frozen kind, I can handle it. 

You people in the North, getting hit with another winter snow, bless you.  Here in Virginia, after 2 snows, we are all so ready for spring, we get cranky, very cranky.  Maybe that's just me.

This weekend will be a calm before a few upcoming weeks of pure crazy.  Yes, it is self imposed crazy, but still, let me explain.

Last March, we spotted this AMAZING house.  It was a random thing.  We saw it and LOVED it immediately.  Upon adding our 6th family member in 2013, we had exceeded the capacity in our home.  We needed to breathe, physically, spiritually, emotionally.  We began weighing our options and the possibility of buying this home.  It seemed hopeless. 

Our sweet realtor, bless her heart, went back and forth with us, "Yes or no?"  Each time, it was clearly no.  Another buyer was interested, then it fell through, over and over.  We thought we lost the house, then it was available again.  We felt like it was our house.  We could just sense God doing something, but we had to wait.  We were in limbo. I don't like playing limbo.

All of a sudden, I can't really explain it, except to say, that God just lined everything up.  All of the logistics started falling into place AND we didn't have to sell our current home.  We were in the middle of a kitchen remodel (6 people, no kitchen, no fun) and all of a sudden, we moved.   

That was November.  It is time to sell the other house.  Enter, self imposed crazy.  Next week we are tackling the long list of to-dos on a house we haven't lived in for 4 months in order to get a FOR SALE sign in the front yard, as soon as possible.  I can already hear our neighbors and realtor rejoicing.

So, if you know of anyone in the market for a CUTE 3 bedroom, 1.5 bath cape cod, with a brand spankin' new kitchen, send them my way, please.  Our realtor would really love it.

Run Baby, Run

I have this goal of shedding some extra baby weight before going to the beach in July...on my BIRTHDAY, I might add.  I have been watching my calories and doing some yoga (my 4 year old calls it WOAH-GA, which makes it sound a bit more fun).  I really like yoga, or woah-ga, it is my exercise of choice.  The breathing and stretching is quite relaxing, and I have to say I look forward it.  It isn't as easy as it looks.  If you doubt, see how long you can hold a side plank...I'll wait...

 

This is exactly how I look doing it...keep believing that.

 

So, the time has come to step up my game.  Yoga is working, baby fluff is slowly melting, but I need a little bit more cardio to reach my goal.   

 

I don't like running, or jogging, for that matter.  I have tried to like it.  In school, I tolerated the shuttle run (chalk erasers anyone?),  running the mile, etc.  I did my best, but it really was never my thing.  In college, two of my closest friends were runners, and still are.  They run marathons and triathlons.  I tried running with them, but didn't really run enough to ever keep up.  I have several mommy friends who run.  Two of them just finished the Glass Slipper Challenge in Disney World,  10K and Half Marathon in 2 days.  I just don't like running, but I REALLY WISH I DID.

The thought of jogging through the neighborhood, enjoying the sunshine, breathing in the fresh air, and gaining peace of mind, sounds heavenly.  I spend so much time trying to figure out how to breathe without passing out and not trip over my own feet, heavenly is far from how I feel.
 

The other night, my running sister-in-law messaged me.  (These runners are surrounding me, its a conspiracy, I tell you.) We are going to the beach together in July.  She wants us to do this together:

http://www.raceit.com/search/event.aspx?id=30384

 

I have I mentioned I really don't like running? 

But I said yes.

 

I keep saying to myself: "It will be good for me. It will help me shed the fluff. There is a t-shirt, a medal, and breakfast when I finish."  I like the last one the best.  If I am going to work hard training for something give me something materialistic.  MOTIVATION...I like it!

 

And so, somehow I am going to start training for this thing.  One of my Glass Slipper friends gave me some pretty awesome tips.  Maybe in the end I will like running, a little bit.  Maybe I will like the free t-shirt, medal, and breakfast more.

 

Run Baby, Run   (10 points if I you are singing Sheryl Crow)

 

Leah  



New Mommies, you can DO this Mommy Life!

 

Looking back over 10.5 years of parenting (loads of experience, let me tell you), I am realizing that there are many challenging, stressful phases.  The toddler tantrum years, whiny preschool years, and the tween/preteen attitude years all have their own difficult moments.  I have to say, for me, BY FAR, the most wearisome time was the newborn phase.

Newborns are so full of sweetness and cuteness, how could this be so tough?  After 4 newborns, not all at one time, thankfully, I can honestly say, those years transformed me, preparing me for the phases and life struggles to come. 

Nothing can truly prepare you for bringing home that newborn, until it happens.  None of the money spent on classes and books fully made me READY to deal with all that comes with a newborn. 

I was NOT prepared for:

1 - The Exhaustion
2 - The Demands
3 - The Self-Sacrifice
4 - The Comparisons
5 - The Realm of Nursing

Now, looking back, let me tell you how these 5 things, none of which I was ready for, changed me and better equipped me for the life struggles to come.

1 - Sleep Shmeep - I am amazed at how I can function on such little sleep.  Don't get me wrong, I love sleeping.  I would rather sleep than eat, but that first newborn really takes it out of you and you never really get it back.  Even when she is "sleeping through the night" there are still many nights I am still up, for one reason or another.  "Mo-om, I'm (itchy, cold, thirsty, hot, coughing)!"  You just get used to it and keep going.  Determination at its finest.

2 - My Best IS Enough - Becoming a mom makes you feel spread so thin.  Newborns are demanding, in their precious ways, and with all of the other demands that come with caring for your family and home, you feel like you are never enough.  The more kids you have the more you feel this way.  Guess what...you will NEVER be enough.  We weren't made to be all and do all.  That is God's job.  He IS enough.  God strengthens me to do my best and be my best.  So, at the end of the day, if I can put my kids to bed knowing that I loved them the best I could, THAT is enough.

3 - Just say NO - I had to learn to say NO.  This is something that took me a WHILE to fully learn without the guilt.  I am still learning it!  This is a huge lesson in self-sacrifice for me.  I had to learn to say NO to a lot of things I enjoy.  I had to say NO to a lot of committees and groups that were asking me for my time and that I really wanted to do. I am not saying that you should not do ANYTHING for yourself, but for me, I was making a lot of little things a priority, when what I needed to focus on was my family. I still have "me" time and coffee time with friends, but I have to say NO to things that will consume me and start to shift my focus.

4 - STOP the Comparison Game - I learned to stop comparing myself to other mommies and their newborns.  This is a continuous process.  While one way of parenting may work for one mom, it may not work for me.  That is okay.  It doesn't mean I am a bad mom or the other mom doesn't know she is doing.  I had to stop fearing that I was going to screw up my child if I didn't choose what other mamas were doing.  I mess up on a daily basis, but then I re-evaluate and do something differently.  We are all learning at this, so stop thinking that someone else is doing a better job than you.

5 - Breastfeeding is HARD and PAINFUL - There, I said it.  While I believe at least attempting to breastfeed is important, it can be a difficult process, depending on a lot of factors.  I had breastfeeding challenges with ALL 4 of my babies: chewing instead of sucking, infections, reflux, NICU stay.  Each baby had their own set of challenges that made breastfeeding difficult.  I nursed as long as I could.  I did my best and that was what was best for my baby.  Choosing to nurse, despite the pain and difficulty, strengthened me in more ways that I could have imagined.  Life is full moments that have required me to press through despite the pain. 

Mama with a newborn, life may seem tough right now.  There are beautiful moments and you are so thankful for your blessing , but it is HARD.  You are a good mama.  You are doing a fantastic job loving your baby.  You will survive this exhausting, demanding, overwhelming, painful time.  You can do this mommy life!  Be the Mom God called you to be.  One day, I promise, you will look back and be able to give a bit of wisdom and comfort to another struggling, new mom. 

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:13 NKJV

Press On Mamas!

Leah     

Finding Refuge

There are days when my thoughts of friends and family who are struggling, weigh heavy on me.  It puts me into a mode of constant prayer.  Each time God brings someone comes to mind, I pray.  God placed them there for a reason. 

I have been on both sides.  I have been the one, constantly in need of prayer.  Life was getting turned upside down, over and over, draining me emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.    Wondering, "God, what are you doing?  Where are you taking me?  What is next for my family?"  There were times when the words wouldn't come, but I knew God still heard my heart.  The prayers of my loved ones pushed me forward when I had nothing left to give.  While turbulent times still arise from time to time, I am at a place where I feel like I can breathe from one storm to the next.

Not so for a close friend.  We have been friends for years, bonding immediately upon our first meeting.  I love her dearly.  We have walked through each others storms on countless occasions, praying for one another.  While I am riding in a bit of calm, her storm rages on.

I wish I could lift her out of her storm, so she could ride her waves.  I wish, for a week or two, I could lift her out of her current situation and she could breathe, rest, without worrying about finances, broken relationships, and ailing loved ones. 

I have been there.  I have been in the seemless never-ending cycle of pain.  When one heartache leads to the next, struggling to keep my head above rising waters to catch my next breath. 

During this time, I couldn't see a light at the end of my dark tunnel.  I couldn't see how, where, or when this all would end.  I cried out to God, asking all of these things.  "Lord, Help me through this moment, this hour, this day!  Help me breathe!" 

His reply: REFUGE

What?

REFUGE

Okay?

I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS FROM YOU RIGHT NOW, BUT I WANT TO BE YOUR REFUGE WHILE YOU ARE CALLED TO WEATHER IT.

refuge

REFUGE

So I googled, researched, underlined, and prayed over every verse of REFUGE in the Bible. Because when I HEAR GOD, I have to go ALL IN.

David had the refuge thing DOWN.  He had some serious storms to weather...mainly a crazy king who wanted him dead. 

The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.  Psalm 9:9 NIV

God’s a safe-house for the battered, a sanctuary during bad times.  Psalm 9:9 MSG

REFUGE - stronghold, safe-house, sanctuary

God became my stronghold, when everything else seemed to be slipping away.  He became my safe-house when the chaos of life became too much.  He became my sanctuary when the world seemed to rise against me. 

So, my prayer to my dear sister friend and others whose hearts are in a bout of turbulent waves, keep running to God to be your refuge.  Nothing else can keep you above the waves like only He can.   I will keep praying for you to allow God to be your stronghold as the storm rages on. 

Find REFUGE

Leah

"Hi!" From a Blogging Hiatus

I just read somewhere that you shouldn't take a hiatus from your blog for more than a few days.

Enter congestion and stomach funk for my 20 month old.

The person that wrote that lovely piece of blog advice, probably doesn't have kids.

It is really hard to focus, write, edit, and post on your blog when your 20 month old is sitting on your towel covered lap for 5 days straight because you don't know which end is going to explode.  Baby girl went through every pair of pajamas she owns in 2 days.  Good thing I am a towel hoarder because I almost ran out of those too.

This persistent cough has inhabited our home, since preschool began last fall.  At one point, while visiting my son's preschool class, I commented to the other parents, "Awwww, they all have the same cough." Seriously.  The exact same dry, drainage, cough.

We have been fighting this cough FOR MONTHS, on and off, with essential oils, allergy medicine, humidifiers, and wine (for me, of course), but the hacking just won't let up.  It keeps coming back.

Last week, it got the better of us and infected the ENTIRE FAMILY.  That's 6 people, in one house. Coughing, hacking, snotty, blech.  The older two would like you to believe that they are suffering the worst, but their amount of weekend play with neighbors would prove otherwise.  Hubby pretty much stayed curled up on the couch in a Nyquil coma.  Baby girl and the boy were hit the hardest.  Visits to the doctor with ear infections and upper respiratory infections.  Besides amoxicillin, baby girl was also awarded prednisone.

Woo hoo!  Medicine!  May our life return to normal so we can enjoy the upcoming spring-like weather. 

Enter prednisone induced vomiting and amoxicillin induced diarrhea. 

After a desperate call into the doctor, who stopped all antibiotics,  baby girl awoke with a full night's rest with no explosions happening in either direction. 

She just ate more food than she has had in 6 days.  ONE WHOLE BANANA.

Spring is in 4 days...Spring is in 4 days...

Spring on Mamas...     

After 8pm, the Mommy Wisdom is GONE

I have never been a late night person.  Growing up, at sleepovers and church lock-ins, I was the first to fall asleep and the first to wake up.  I was the party animal, let me tell you. 

After having 4 kiddos, sleep is something I rarely get enough of.  However, though my body appears to be awake after 8pm, the brain and all of its thought processes shut down. Basically, I'm brain dead.

Our day starts around 5:45am.  With 2 school age daughters, a preschool son, and a toddler daughter, our routines are a mixture of learning responsibility and having everything done for them. One is mentally exhausting, while the other is physically exhausting. 

Most evenings, all children are in bed by 7 or 8 or 8:30 or 9 or whenever my 10 year old decides to stop pushing her luck.

The other night went pretty smoothly.  The younger ones were in bed at a decent time.  Daughter #1 (D1), however,  had every ailment possible (stuffy nose, itchy scalp, endless thirst), then decided she needed to talk.  My eyes had already started to glaze over at 8pm, so by 9:30, the thought processes and Mommy Wisdom were gone. 

The conversation was pretty much the same one we have every time we talk.  She is a different bird.  Always doing her own thing and not caring what others think of her.  She had worn a cute feather in her hair to school the other day and the school kids were laughing at her.  She didn't care, but really didn't know what she did wrong to cause them to laugh. 

I tried to channel Michelle Duggar...any amount of amazing wisdom would do.  But, that night, I was bone dry.  The only response I had as to why kids were laughing was, "Honey, some kids are just going to act stupid."  Write that down people.  That is all I could say, all my brain could pour out.   

BTW, we don't say the "S" word here.  We don't name call. 

Who am I kidding?  We try to keep the kids from name calling, but it is innate.  They are born with the desire to name call.

Anyway, that piece of advice was all I had...all I could give...after 8pm.  I think I am going to use that for the next 18 years...some kids are just going to act stupid, and grow into stupid acting adults.

Totally Michelle Duggar.

Thankfully, my daughter's brain still functions at 10pm.  She started singing one of our favorite songs, "You're so unusual...I think you're beautiful" by Francesca Battistelli.

Way to go baby girl.  Maybe I should try channeling Francesca next time you want to talk after 8pm.

Leah 

   

Introducing...

This is actually my second blog.  My first was all about my family, my kiddos, my life.  While I enjoyed writing about my kiddos, life got overwhelming and I strayed...added another child to the mix...moved and well, LIFE. 

The thing about my first blog was that I had this tendency to get philosophical and deep.  It became less about my kids and more about what I wanted to share with my readers.  My readers were few because the blog was private and they were invited. So, we felt the same, thought the same, and well, it was pretty much my mom reading, so there you go. 

So, for years, I have wanted to write, share, encourage, etc.  But, I have had this MENTAL BLOCK, this WRITER'S BLOCK.  Then it occurred to me.  Its not a writer's block, its MOMMY BLOCK.

I have 4 children.  I love them each in their own unique way, but I am convinced, with each pregnancy, the brain cells leaked away, thus creating MOMMY BLOCK. 

So, here I am, writing about my life as a mom with 4.  It will not be all about crafts, cooking, and cute pictures of my children. My life is not a Pinterest page.  Far from it.

I love my husband, I love my children, but marriage is HARD and being a Mom is HARD.  I like having a clean, clutter free home, but have a hard time don't really enjoy keeping it that way. 

I have a chaotic, skeleton-filled closet.  While I will not air my dirty laundry here, I will be honest about my imperfect life and my God who loves me through it all, giving me breath to get to the next moment.

Mommy Block Averted...for now.

Leah